SBUX sux

Seattle based coffeehouse colossus Starbucks got roasted with negative sales figures and a declining financial picture. Starbucks plans to cut 300 more stores. The coffee chain took another hit after new sales figures came out; in latest figures it will close a total of 977 stores.

“The pace of weakening in the business environment and the global economy has been accelerating,” said Howard Schultz CEO of Starbucks.

This fall in retail sector employment will make things even more difficult for displaced manufacturing workers that are now jobless, and as our economy implodes people will begin to realize that instead of a severe recession we have a deep depression. The Colossus of Rhodes fell, and SBUX will fall too.


Latte Liberals no longer feel comfortable being seen in a Starbucks, no more double-top, no-foam, non-fat lattes. It is no longer cool to drink a four dollar coffee while people starve. In other news, the Starbucks executive jet is up for sale.

Trouble in the vaults

The mini madoffs steal even more money. Not to worry, Rahmbo will save us. The new trillion dollar economic stimulus package will turn the economy around. What exactly is the recipe for the hope hoagie?

McJobs

McDonalds plans to open 1,000 new burger joints. The 99 cent McChicken is a big hit with the poor. It seems like many jobless joes are now eating those greasy burgers. They are not good for your health. Still thousands of McJobs will open for desperate people.

Hitlery needs to offer some more free health care as few workers at Golden Arches can afford it. They can barely afford the stale greasy burgers at half price.

Save the Penguins

Penquins will become extinct when ANTarctica melts. Hey, what can I say. Better than bailing out a bankster. I wonder what RAHMBO thinks.

Rahmbo & Blogo

There be a log of blogs about blogo. Gov Rod had words with Rahmbo. This is a great link. Almost as wonderful as Hitlery. Things are getting interesting.

I'm McLovin it

LOLCAT 4 sec of state

I can haz jobz, pleeeze?


more animals

Klingon Keyboard

For all you trekkies, a klingon keyboard is now available. I wish they move an arabic keyboard into the white house. You never know if oz man might want to use it.

Zimbabwe troops eat elephants

Well, now that's a meal they shall never forget. I hope they do not eat the republican. It turns out that Zimbabwe troops are eating elephants. Don't forget to pack your trunk!

Al Franken-stein

An' ware did good ol' Al Franken-stein get his money from, warren buffoon? We need need management experience - like Big Top Bello. This guy is just a SNL bozo that should replace Ronald McDonald handing out happy meals. I'm McLovin it!

Is the economy getting you down?